To those of you new to this annual celebration of the competitive spirit and love of eating, every year in Texas we hold a number of trials to determine who the fattest fat girl of the year is. It's phenomenal and we take it very seriously. I've mentioned it in passing before, but I'll catch you up real quick.
1st annual - Sam and Mandy compete, Sam reigns triumphant becoming the first winner of the face off.
2nd annual - Jon is allowed to compete as long as he is in drag and soundly trounces Sam and Mandy in a dark horse victory. As his coach1, I was elated.
3rd annual - Jon grows overly fat and complacent, fails to listen to his coach, and is bested by Sam. I adopt Mandy as my protege.
4th annual - There were questions about Jon's eligibility to compete due to his apparent lack of coach (which were resolved when Leila's boyfriend Gio took on the challenge2) and weight loss, but when Sam and Mandy heard about the stewardess who kept telling Jon she couldn't give him anymore food he was allowed back in.
So here's Heat 1. I'll get the rest to you as soon as I'm able.
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1I should say that I am indeed qualified for such a post, as I have actually won multiple eating contests. I am retired now.
2Gio didn't actually have to be pushed into coaching Jon at all. Hopefully Jon will drop by and tell y'all all about their bromance.
1 comment:
TEAM AWESOME! =D
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